[Abunai Shiawase Chou Bangaihen]
Original (Novel): Abunai Series, Shiawase Series
Author: 斑鳩サハラ Ikaruga Sahara
Cover Illustrator: 早坂 靜 Hayasaka Shizuka
Released: 8/15/1999 B.B.BRAND+GEMINI
Price: 3600 yen
Cast:
Part 1 (Tracks 1-12):
森川智之 (須藤 泉)
[Morikawa Toshiyuki (Sudou Izumi)]
塩沢兼人 (瀬川伶司)
[Shiozawa Kaneto (Segawa Reiji)]
堀内賢雄 (佐渡章吾, 佐渡孝彰, 九条実篤)
[Horiuchi Kenyuu (Sawatari Shougo, Sawatari Takaaki, Kujou Saneatsu)]
結城比呂 (須藤パパ, 朱雀 忍)
[Yuuki Hiro (Sudou Papa, Suzaku Shinobu)]
松本保典 (佐渡義彰, チーフ, 桜之宮 京 )
[Matsumoto Yasunori (Sawatari Yoshiaki, Chief, Sakuranomiya Kyou)]
遊佐浩二 (西苑寺 蘭, 華月院みちる)
[Yusa Kouji (Saionji Ran, Kagetsuin Michiru)]
Part 2 (Track 13):
松本保典 (みどりさん)
[Matsumoto Yasunori (Midori-san)]
Part 3 (Track 14-21):
森川智之 (大沢俊行) x 結城比呂 (篠原 瑛)
[Morikawa Toshiyuki (Oosawa Toshiyuki) x Yuuki Hiro (Shinohara Aki)]
塩沢兼人 (大沢冬臣) x 森川智之 (大沢俊行)
[Shiozawa Kaneto (Oosawa Fuyuomi) x Morikawa Toshiyuki (Oosawa Toshiyuki)]
遊佐浩二 (芦田店長)
松本保典 (木村)
堀内賢雄 (薬局店主)
Review:
The MOST hilarious, MOST erotic, and can certainly MOST drive one to insanity, is the Abunai series: Abunai Shiawase Chou Bangaihen (Abunai Shiawase Super Side Story). This CD combines two of Ikaruga Sahara's novel series: the Abunai (Dangeous) Series [tracks 1-12], and the Shiawase (Happiness) Series [tracks 13-21]. The voice cast stays consistent, but plays different characters in the two different parts.
Personally, I don't think you really have to know the original plot in order to enjoy this drama, since it's just a series of extra parody side stories anyways (if you're interested in the original plot, please read the "Abunai Shuugaku Ryokou" and the "Abunai Bara to Yuri no Sono" reviews). To make it simple, there's Sudou Isumi, the cute uke-boy who *thinks* he's pretty bad, and his classmates Sawatari Shougo and Seigawa Reiji, who both fell for Sudoh. Sudoh also has a cute Papa who attracted two other people: Sawatari Yoshiaki (Sawatari Shougo's brother) and Saionji Ran (the school doctor). Sakuranomiya Kyou and Kagetsuin Michiru are....the bad guys XD
Now, to highlight the perfect INSANITY that is this CD (Ken DEEP breathes):
Track 2: "if Sudoh-kun is the Little Red Riding Hood, and Seigawa is the Big Bad Wolf." (Sudoh: why the hell am I the little red riding hood? *Ken ROFLs...because you're the UKE*)
This track opens by Seigawa (Shiozawa-saaaaammaaaaaa *melts*) greeting Sudoh very politely (and in SUCH a meltingly magnetic voice) "Konnichiwa, Akatsukin-chan (Little Red Riding Hood)."
Sudoh: GEH, Seigawa....(why do I have a bad feeling about this...)
Seigawa: Where are you heading to?
Sudoh: Oshie-nai (I'm not telling)
Seigawa: Then I'll ask your body directly. (Ken flips backwards in her chair...X_X!!!)
Anyways, Sudoh goes to deliver bread to his sick grandma. The big bad Wolf, Seigawa, gets ahead of him and is lying in bed waiting for his prey *muhahaha*. (and I swear, WHY THE HELL is Shiozawa-sama's voice STILL so sexy even when he voice-acts as a grandma? *T___T*) The grandma...I mean, the wolf, says in a weak yet (OH SOOO seductive *melts*) voice:
"Please take off your clothes and use your body to warm me in bed"
And yes, SO seductive, so Sudoh, being the good little boy he is, crawled into Grandma's bed, and the series of you know, the questions, which at the end Seigawa laughed in satisfaction and says "of course, THAT's for EATING you (voice DROPS into the Iason-styled threat OMG my Shiozawa-sama *melts*)" and so, Seigawa pushes Sudoh down...(Ken: MUHAHAHA)
Sudoh: Kiisama--wa SEIGAWA!! *struggles* Who, who can help mee!!
As the story progresses, Sawatari the hunter comes to the rescue (and says: DAMMIT, you already went THIS far!?) Sudou-kun calls for help, and thought he is going to be rescued, when Sawatari replies in SUCH a cute voice...."If it's Sudoh, I should get a share too!"
Sudoh: E...EEEHHHHHH?????? You're kidding me!!! O____O
And so, the (in)famous 3P begins, with Seigawa saying in a high and mighty tone on the left: "I love you, Izumi" and Sawatari saying on the right "I like you, Sudoh." and poor Sudoh-kun struggling in the middle...eh....(his final "ya~me~~de T_T *about to cry*" is SO KAWAIIIIIIII XDD)
Track 9: If Sawatari Yoshiaki is the North Wind in the "Sun and the Wind," and Saionji Ran is the Sun
(fairytale recap: the sun and the wind competes in who has more force to take the clothes off a passing traveler)
The title sort of gives it away *lol*. Anyways Sawatari and Saionji agrees to compete against each other, when Sudoh-papa convieniently passes by. Sawatari, being the wind, uses all his strength to blow the wind, hoping to blow Sudoh-papa's clothes away. But that proved the opposite effect when Sudoh-papa drew his coat tighter for warmth.
Sounds normal so far? Well, here comes the Sun Saionji....and he greets Sudoh-papa...
Saionji: Sudoh~san~~
Sudoh-papa: Saionji-sensei! (Saionji is the school doctor)
Saionji: Well! *heart* Please take your clothes off for me~~I need to make an examination *heart*
Sudoh-papa: Sure! XD *does that*
Sawatari: I lose...O_O
(Ken: -_-;;;;;)
*coughs* Jump to Track 12: if Sudoh is "one little lamb" out of the "7 little lambs", and Seigawa and Sawatari are going out together.
(for recap of this fairy tale, the Sheep mommy goes out to shopping, and tells the 7 little sheeps to not let anyone in, especially the big bad wolf. The 7 little lambs manage to trick the wolf and stayed safely in the house)
Yes, in this case Seigawa and Sawatari are the papa and mama who went out, and Sudoh the little lamb is left at home. At this time, Sakuranomiya Kyo and Kagetsuin Michiru (two wolves who want to eat Sudoh) came to the house, and knocked on the door (and DAMN Matsumoto did a pretty good job of imitating the speech tone of Shiozawa-sama ^^;;;;)
The smart little lamb, says: (Ken will probably die after typing this...just read further)
"If you are really Seigawa and Sawatari, you have to show me your *beeeep*" (*beeeep* wo misete mitte!)
Wolves: O___O EH? the *beeeep*?
(pause of awkward silence)
Wolf 1: "Al.....alright! Fine! I'll show you!"
Wolf 2: "Hol.....hold on (can barely keep himself from laughing...you know I really feel bad for the seiyuus who have to do this how they controlled themselves not to laugh to death escapes me) This is a little embarrassing...well, HERE!"
Sudoh: (in the MELTINGLY CUTE elementary schoolboy voice...note he's voiced by Morikawa Toshiyuki *dies* ONE more reason why this drama is bad for health) Nope! DEFINITELY NOT! You guys are NOT Seigawa and Sawatari! Seigawa's *beeep* is MUCH longer and MUCH bigger and MUCH harder! (Ken DIES...and it really IS censored with a beep in the drama....*dies some more*), and Sawatari's *beeeep* can reach his stomach!"
(OMG I have to excuse myself to go and ram against a wall )
So yes, the wolves went away in shame, and the REAL Seigawa and Sawatari came back....again, Sudoh uses his meltingly cute voice to say:
"If you are really Seigawa and Sawatari, you have to show me your *beeeep*!"
And Shiozawa-sama laughed softly (I think I really have to strangle somebody now...) and actually SAID "do~~zo" (There~~you go), and Sawatari said..."how's THAT, Sudoh?" (Ken twitches on the ground)
Sudoh: aaaaAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh *sighs in satisfaction*~~there's no doubt, it's much longer and bigger AND harder and can also reach the stomach.....it's definitely Seigawa and Sawatari! (opens door) WELCOME BACK! (you can just FEEL the joy of the little lamb *doesn't know what to say anymore....*)
.........
...
(Ken crawls back) oh by the way you don't even WANT to know what exactly did Matsumoto-san (Midori-san) said in his mini-drama cutting the two main parts...all I have to say, is it's about a chicken who very much wants the *beeep* and someday, God granted his wish.....
Before you start throwing stones at me, please allow me to continue. Track 21, which goes into the 2nd part of this drama, the Shiawase story. The first evil of this drama is that Morikawa Toshiyuki plays Toshiyuki (yes, SAME name damn you evil author of this drama *dies*), and Shiozawa-sama plays his brother....basically, Shiozawa-oniisan is jealous that Toshiyuki-kun has another lover, and knocks him unconscious and brings him to his own place to have.....*mute*
Let me declare, this track is 9:50 minutes long, and even if you cut the first two minutes of foreplay, Shiozawa STILL *beeped* Morikawa for a good 7 minutes *Ken DIES nosebleeding*
Shiozawa completely ATE Morikawa, yes, ATE, until not even the bones are left, until Morikawa doesn't even have the strength to pant and cry anymore *dies again*......
And that *other* sound.....yes, dealing with WET things....is a bit too...*runs for tissue for nosebleed*
Toshiyuki-kun tries to resist in the beginning, but soon becomes completely helpless....however, he still insists that he doesn't want it. Shiozawa (Ken dies hard) draws a breath.....and says "well, if that's not good, how about...THIS...." (bed creaks, Morikawa gasps...)
I excuse myself from trying to describe harder...anyways, Shiozawa asks Toshiyuki whether it feels good or not...and at first Toshiyuki is pretty resistant, until after some more...eh...and after Toshiyuki can barely gasp for breath....he said....
"Niisan....."
Shiozawa: (Ken melts at Shiozawa's sexiness) hmm?
Morikawa: "it....feels....good"
Shiozawa: (small laugh) "the lying Toshiyuki-kun is very cute, but the honest Toshiyuki-kun is even cuter."
And yes, OMG, I will excuse myself now and go jump off a cliff.